How Do You Cultivate Joy?

My birthday is in the summer. July to be more specific. 

As a kid, I loved my summer birthday. My mom and dad hosted a small birthday party in June while we were at home in New York City. And then, I had another small birthday party in Wellfleet on my actual birthday with my summer friends. 

My parents made my birthday extra special. I got to choose all the meals and activities for my whole actual birthday. And I got to have fun with my friends that I only saw in the summer. Just writing this makes me feel joy and also my parents’ generosity. 

My parents were hard-working scientists. In the summer, they left the sweltering heat of New York City and decamped to Wellfleet to write academic papers. That meant we didn’t have to be in hot New York City with no air conditioning. And it also meant I had so much more time with my parents. I am so grateful that I had that time.

Sitting at my desk writing about Wellfleet, my birthday and my parents, I feel the joy again of those days. Sometimes joy doesn’t come that easily. But we can cultivate Joy.

Look for Moments of Joy

“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give into it… Joy is not made to be a crumb.”
—Mary Oliver

Embracing joy is not a one and done event. And it is not about ignoring what else is going on. Looking for joy enhances your mood, your health and your resilience. I encourage you to embrace joy, even, or especially, in hard times. Joy is part of resistance and resilience.

What do you do to cultivate joy? 

It could be walking with a good friend or reading an engaging book. It could be seeing spring flowers or fall foliage. It could be sipping coffee with a friend, just being together. 

What creates joy for you? Close your eyes, take a deep breath, see what comes up. 

I feel joy when I am in nature, seeing the stars in the sky or wild flowers in the forest. I feel joy when I am connecting with good friends or swimming with my special friend Marleen. And now, I feel joy holding my first grandchild. What creates joy for you?

And when joy shows up, welcome it, savor it, hold on to it. Be open to joy. Create joy. I’d love to hear how you are experiencing joy. And even how joy can help you thrive in both good times and even (or especially) hard times.

Wishing you JOY.

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