Play for Fun and Resilience

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” — George Bernard Shaw

When we think about play, many of us think playing is kids’ stuff. The benefits of play, if we recognize them at all, are about improving kids’ social skills, wellness, and learning to read. But what about adults? 

Play is essential for adults too. It adds joy and pleasure to our lives. Play opens us to creativity and wonder. It decreases stress. Play also builds our capacity to deal with hard stuff in our own lives. It makes us feel more alive and resilient. WOW.

Play might be doing something you used to love … going for a bike ride with no destination, dancing with abandon, watching the clouds in the sky. It might be trying something new … visiting a new trail, writing a story, dabbling with paints. 

With the demands of being an adult — it’s easy to dismiss play. Taking care of others, work, bills … can get in the way. But embracing play doesn’t mean that we ignore the hard stuff. It means you can notice the beauty and joy that happens alongside the tough stuff. Play is part of our resilience. 

How to Play as an Adult

One way of finding play as an adult is tapping back into the feeling of joy and what you used to love. 

Take a few minutes to think back and reflect on these questions: 

• How did you like to play when you were 5? 10? 18?…?
• How did playing make you feel?
• Think of one experience from when you were younger when you forgot about time. What were you doing? 

Here are a few other ideas for getting back to play as an adult: 

Reconnect with Things You Loved. You might not enjoy playing the same way you did when you were a kid, but reconnecting with things you used to love to do can open the door to play. Jump on your bike (without tracking the miles or pace). Fool around with clay or paint or a sketch book. Don’t think about outcomes, just focus on what it feels like to do it. Did you love to play games? Host a game night. Did you love to sit in a comfy chair and read a book just for pleasure? Play can be alone or with others. 

Try New Things. If something sounds fun or intriguing, say YES. New things open our beginner’s mind. Be brave and don’t worry about being silly or how well you do. Do it even if the thing feels a little scary. 

Take a Cue from Pets or Kids. My dog Murphy is utterly delighted when I throw a ball for him. He runs and chases with abandon. Maybe you’ve seen that with your own pet. Or watched kids tumbling in a park or weaving in and out of made up games with each other. What can you learn from watching them? How could you bring more of that openness to your own activity? 

Don’t worry, Just Do It. My daughter (30 years old) and I have regular “dancing parties” when she is home. We turn on Disco and just dance and laugh. It’s an amazing release and FUN.

Make Time for Play. While play is hard to schedule, having some open space in your calendar to really let yourself get engaged in something makes it easier to get into that out of time and place feeling. 

Play Throughout the Day. While big blocks of time help with that sense of expansiveness that opens creativity, you can be more playful throughout your every day life. Sing while you do the dishes. Text silly ideas to a friend who will play along. Or something else that makes you feel joyful. All these little moments help you remember what playful feels like. 

How are you going to build play into your life this week?

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