Making Joy and Resilience a Habit

There is a stack of books on my desk that I want to read. I love learning from others through reading. So I collect books from classes I take, from thinkers I love, authors I admire. The book a friend recommends, the one on display at the book store or library that catches my eye. 

But I have a bad habit of collecting books I may never read. As my grandpa would say “your eyes are bigger than your stomach.” When it comes to books I have a bigger appetite that I can finish. 

So often we think about bad habits we should give up. What if we focused instead on setting habits that light us up, that build resilience or grow joy? 

How do Habits Build Resilience?

Every time you do something kind, every time you express gratitude, every time you make or deepen a connection with somebody else, every time you notice beauty in the world around you, you are building your resilience. 

When you make it a habit of any of these things, you keep strengthening your resilience, again and again. 

Habits to build resilience might look like: 

• Keeping a daily gratitude journal
• Doing one act of kindness daily (bonus points if you write it down and how it made you feel) 
• Pausing to appreciate the evening sky before you go in for the night or really noticing the way the tree you see every day changes day to day, season to season
• A weekly Zoom with distant family, a monthly walk with a friend, or a daily “this made me think of you” text

Joy is one of the tools in your resilience toolbox, so when you grow joy, you’re also boosting resilience! 

We find joy in different places. I talk in “How Do You Cultivate Joy?”, I encourage you to start by noticing what brings you joy. Bringing your attention to joy is a simple, starting habit you can cultivate.

Build Your Resilience and Joy Habits

So you’ve found the action that makes you joyful or resilient — how do you make it a habit? 

You start by taking one super achievable tiny step and then the next and the next one, over and over. For example, just 1 minute of identifying one good thing about your day, gives you a boost of positivity and gratitude. 

When you do that again and again, you start to build those resilience muscles and your positivity. And likely you’ll feel better and do it more … The feedback loop is powerful.

The key is to do it “every” day. I put every in quotes there because I don’t want you to get thrown off track because you missed a day.

The truth is that when building a habit, the more consistent you are, the more you build that groove that will help you keep going. Until you’ve made it a habit, practice doing the habit every day, even when you don’t feel like it. 

Tie it to something else: 

• When I brush my teeth at night, I’ll think of one good thing from my day. 
• I’ll text one friend every morning over coffee. 
• I’ll put on my favorite song and dance every time I get off a Zoom. 
• Create your own tiny habits.

Set a reminder on your phone, put a note on your mirror, block the time on your calendar. After a while you won’t need it, but while you are building the habit, it helps to have the reminder. 

Habits that are not good for us can keep us from health or the things we really want, but positive habits can bring us more joy, awe, wonder, and resilience. 

I am wishing you joy, awe, wonder, and resilience as you take tiny steps to positive habits and more resilience.

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